Why Don’t I Have Willpower?

We all want to be successful, make money, achieve our goals, be disciplined and better people. But without willpower we have nothing. So why is it some people have more willpower than others you might be thinking.

Well, let’s take a closer look at why we don’t have willpower when we need it.

Our lives are full of temptations that test our self-control and drain our willpower. But a growing body of research says you can make it through the day without losing your coolness, and it isn’t as hard as you think.

First, you need to realize that doing anything you don’t want to do — suppressing irritation at your mother-in-law, fighting an impulse to do something you shouldn’t, completing a task when you want to quit — draws on the same storehouse of willpower.

But help is here: According to Roy Baumeister, Ph.D., director of social psychology at Florida State University, willpower functions like a muscle. It can be fatigued by overuse, but it can also be strengthened to make you more productive, less stressed, and happier. All you need are a few healthy habits to keep your willpower tank on full.

We need to make sure, we get enough sleep. Lack of sleep will drain our willpower tank. Exercise regularly, avoid junk foods, add in some meditation or hobbies. Hang out with people we like so we aren’t always in fight or flight mode.

Here is a simple three-step rule.

I will, I won’t and I want.

Think of something you want to achieve, like losing weight and need the willpower to achieve your goal.

I will lose 30 pounds.

I won’t binge late night on sweets.

I want to be happy and healthy.

I will be more patient.

I won’t be so judgmental.

I want to be a better husband.

We have to break down our willpower into three tasks to see where we fail.

Our willpower gets drained during the day. That’s why late at night, we have trouble staying disciplined. The longer more stressful the day and the less willpower juice we have in the tank and the more we are likely to make bad choices against our goals.

When Baumeister monitored workers in Germany, he was surprised to find that people spent between 3 and 4 hours per day resisting desires, the most common of which were urges to eat, sleep, take a break from work, and have sex. But Baumeister also found that people with strong self-control spent less time resisting desires than other people did.

At first, he was puzzled. If self-control is for resisting desires, why are people who have more of it using it less?

Soon the explanation emerged: They’re better at proactively arranging their lives to avoid problem situations. These are the folks who take the car to the shop before it breaks down, give themselves enough time to finish a project and steer clear of all-you-can-eat buffets. They play offence instead of defense — which means they set themselves up, so they have a realistic chance of succeeding.

Where there is a will, there is always a way. Keep grinding and you can shine.

By |2018-07-07T04:34:46+00:00July 7th, 2018|

About the Author:

Mike Diamond is a Television Personality, Director, Life Coach, and Interventionist. Known for his work on the hit TV shows NY Ink and Bondi Ink Tattoo Crew, which is currently nominated for a Logie Award for Best Reality Series.

One Comment

  1. L.M July 10, 2018 at 3:22 am - Reply

    How do we become better at proactively rearranging our lives!? That is what I want To know.

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